Just Online

This is true. In fact, it is a good idea to serve potatos with liver. Both
absorb toxins from their surroundings thus providing your tummy with a full
dose of poison. A sort of homemade chemo, as it were.

Whitegoose
GOLF BALLS ??? LOL
CHERYL

Hi Al
Wow, we live close to each other. I know where South Coast Plaza is. I
have not attended any of those support groups. I go to school Mon. thru
Thurs and then to work after and work all day on Friday.
I have attended the stroke support group at Hoag Hospital a few times. I
had no idea you lived so close. It really is a small world. I go to school
in Costa Mesa, down by Adams, just before Harbor.
Well better go for now. It is after midnight here and I
am really tired and my fingers don't want to work right anymore.
Thanks for writing
Cheryl

Whitegoose

I read a book by Ron Heagy Jr called "Life is an Attitude" Excellent book, also has a vidio, saw that too. it was amazing. this young man did not have a stroke, but a surfing accident and broke his neck. Was paralized from the neck down at the age of 18. His attitude about life is amazing along with his accomplishments. He has opened a camp called Camp Attitude for disabled kids. I highly recommend his book and his video. I especially enjoyed the video.

Love,

Cheryl

Dear Connie,
(Re your response to Cheryl and Kate).
I do "feel" for you, having suffered disabling panic attacks after
my stroke 3 years ago. When I felt them "coming on" I took
xanax (.25mg Alprazolam). Dr. told me these are addictive and only
to take them when an "attack" was coming on. I used 60 the first
year, and of the 30 I got last year, I have about 15 left. With
me, they did get farther apart and of shorter duration as time went
on.
I did not dare drive the first year because of them. I still have
to take antidepressants. There is no shame in this when you need
them. They do help tremendously. You are going through a very bad
time at the moment, and you have to learn to be good to yourself
and to pamper yourself.
I am glad you have a cat. A pet can be a wonderful comfort. Also,
it is good that you have a special person online whom you can "talk
with" when you are feeling so alone and isolated.
I hope the nights get a bit better for you as time goes on.
love,
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Whitegoose,
I agree, No Zooky in the Kitchen!!
Hear that Zooky, no kitchen for you !!
Cheryl

I was astounded to see your 714 area code. Mine is same, South Coast Plaza
Area.
Have you ever attended the once a month "Stroke Survivors and Caregivers"
meeting At RIO (Rehabilitation Institute of Orange").
Or there once a week Stroke Survivors support group that meets On Monday?
That is where I spend three morning a week in the therapy pool Water
exercise for us weak sided people..
Oh, the big tree at South Coast Plaza Hotel is being lit tonight. Santa Will
be there... Hot Chocolate, cookies and Hot cider being served.. Starts at
six.. Music, boys choir..Carols
Onefinger salutes you...and having writ will go see Santa
P.S. Any other So Cal People??

Hi Kate,
Another good recipe for stock to keep (with the cornstarch
thickening of course).
I am keeping these on file for a future webpage (next year
sometime).
:)
whitegoose

Dear Ron,
I note Kate has some information for you and I hope you will write
to her.
I hope your friend gets some really good help soon. Let us know how
matters transpire.
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Hi Kate,
If you have a few minutes and a small saucepan, I like to thicken
cream soups by melting a Tbs butter, 2 Tbs flour over a low to
medium heat, and stir in 2 cups milk. Then when that's all nice
and smooth pour into your soup. This is also my base mix for making
various sauces (flavored with cheese or herbs for different
effects)to pour over broccoli and/or other vegetables.
When I do the cornstarch one for soups (usually to save a few extra
minutes) I always seem to make it lumpy.
Oh, and tell me how you make dumplings, mine always turn out like
golf balls!!
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Hi Michael,
Canned and packet soups are a good standby for emergencies, but I
find they are a bit bland. They also are far too high in sodium,
and msg and other "bad" things. However, as a guest in Zooky's
kitchen I would probably find them quite acceptable with a
sprinkling of parsley and a shake of cayenne pepper with half an
onion and potato blended in to absorb the extra poisons. <grins
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Hi to Group,
Quite a few of you know already that we have a lot of really good
books in our bookstore that would be of interest to Strokers and
Caregivers.
If anyone has bought or borrowed (from your library) and read any
of the books listed, I would really appreciate it if you would
provide us with a brief "review." Also, I hope to add to the
books, so if you have a recommendation for a book that you think
would be helpful to others, please let me know.
Our Books Page is http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com/index.htm
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Dorothy- I have read Living OneHanded in a Two handed World by Tommye Mayer
several times and consider it to be my bible.The range of topics covered in
this book is phenomenal!Until I found this book, the simple act of dressing
myself in the morning became a battle with overwhelming frustration because
I couldn't get my clothes on correctly, simple tips in this book allowed me
to master dressing myself with ease. And probably kept me from surrendering
to depression by just staying in bed all day. I consider it a Must read for
anyone with the challenge of having only one functional hand. Kate Another
book that helped me greatly in a spirirual sense of the word was When Bad
Things Happen to Good people by Harold Krushner. This book helped me deal
with the incredible amount of anger I felt following my stroke. Once I could
manage that anger I learned to redirect that energy into more functional
tasks. Another Must read. Kate

Cheryl observed
I know what you mean about making a full recovery. I doubt if I will make a
complete full recovery, but the fact that I get alittle better each week or
so is encouraging. I have come a long way in a short time, so I figure it
only has to get better. There are alot of things that I will not be able to
do ever, I don't think but I try to concentrate on what I can do.<<
Cheryl, you may be pleasantly surprised at the extent of your recovery. My
father, Harry, suffered a series of moderate ischemic strokes about twenty
years ago. He was aphasic for a while, and had considerable weakness on one
side (I think it was the opposite side from the one affected this time). At
any rate, he achieved a "complete" recovery. I use quotes because although
he may very well have been aware of some residual deficits, they were
invisible to the rest of us. His speech, cognition, physical strength and
stamina, emotional stability, all returned to normal range after a while. I
remember he was diligent about practicing his handwriting, and he took up
crossword puzzles to exercise his mind. As I have at least four close
relatives who are or were "strokers", some with hypertension, and some
without, I can see the handwriting on the wall...I am taking prophylactic
aspirin...J

selection of fairly inexpensive books at our own website at
http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com/BooksP/index.htm
and I hope you will look there. Books are an excellent reference.<<
Thanks, whitegoose. I'll preview a few from your excellent list by borrowing
them from the library. I've already ordered a couple...J

Hi Michael
I am from Orange County (actually Fountain Valley)
I know what you mean about making a full recovery. I doubt if I will make a
complete full recovery, but the fact that I get alittle better each week or
so is encouraging. I have come a long way in a short time, so I figure it
only has to get better. There are alot of things that I will not be able to
do ever, I don't think but I try to concentrate on what I can do.
Sometimes, I do have to admit, it is very difficulty and I forget to do that
and think of all the things that I lost. But you can't live your life like
that. You have to make do with what you have and do your very best. And
that is good enough in my book. But it is hard to always think like that.
For me anyway. Thanks for the compliment about work. It was a necessity.
As I said before. I get tired and by the end of the day, I am pretty much
Jello after school and work. But I try to go to bed early and get some
extra rest on the weekends. So far so good. (Most times) Sometimes still
have major meltdowns, This group has seen me through more than a few of
those. Talk to you later,
Cheryl

In response to demand (two) Here is Taco soup receipe. This great cold
weather soup. High in nutrition. It freezes well also. Is also ready to eat
as soon as warm.

I do it in crock pot..big one, or large pot on stove, low heat.

Meal in it's self..

1 lb ground beef ( yes Folks, you may use turkey) Why do all receipes call
for a pound, and they
never have a pound package?? OK, get 1.12
lbs. wont hurt. Just don't get
the 23% fat stuff. No more than 15%, try
for less..or grind your own chuck.

I onion chopped fine. Come on, use a good sized one.

I package Taco seasoning.(Dry) Don't get the hot if you have kids .( You
know the packages).

1 package Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing (Dry)

1 15 oz can pinto beans

1 15oz can light kidney beans

2 15 oz can whole kernel corn (1 can if pot full)

1 15 oz can hominy..white best,,yellow fine..like white for color. More ok,
less ok too.

2 cans tomatoes, chopped.

1 can Rotel diced Tomao Chili.. or SMALL can of chillies chopped.

Brown meat.. cook onion in a little olive oil until that nice translucent
color.

Dump everything in the crock or other pot. Only drain the hominy, nothing
else. Stir WELL.
(HINT..Stir in the dry stuff well before all the caned stuff makes it
difficult, this will fill up a crock pot. )
Just let it cook all day. Eat it any time you feel like it.

Serve with tortilla or corn chips. and grated cheeze..Chedder or other
sharp cheeze.

Yummy!!!!!
Onefinger salutes you..and having writ will have a bourbon and branch.

My stroke was also on the right side, efecting the left part of the
brain. I think your right about not giving up after a stroke. Things
have gotton better over time, but I'm not sure if a total recovery is
possible. I know I'll never be able to play baseball again or be able to
run. So what part of the state are you from.
I think by you going back to work was a total triumph over having a
stroke, Michael

My reply will be in caps!

Dear Ron- Have you been able to locate any resources for your friend in a wheel
chair?I have a name and toll-free number for a counselor in the Chicago area
that does a lot of work with folks who have sufferred trmendous emotional shock
and fear, Write me at Katelau@... if you want more info. Kate

Cheryl:
I wasn't confused at all. Got it! Thanks!
Kate:
So glad to hear your grandaughter is doing better. And you are so right - I
have to "let go and let God". I forget.
Thanks for the reminder.
Louise

dear Connie- Please talk to your therapist about how you are feeling
since your father passed away. With that very significant change in
your life, you might need to have any medication you are on at least
temporarily. What you are feeling now is a very typical reaction to a
great loss. We are all with you in spirit. Love,Kate

Kate
I am so glad that your grandaugther is doing better.
That is really good news. I am happy for you and yours
Love,
Cheryl

Hi Michael
It's nice to talk to someone that lives in California. I actually went back
to work with really modified hours, three days a week, 3-4 hours a day after
3 weeks. Really didn't accomplish alot, but at least I was there
The other two days a week I went to rehab. I had not choice in going back
to work, I am my sole support, and I need the money. I have slowly
increased my hours, but still only wor 27 hours a week. What side was your
stroke on? Mine was on the right side, so I am left sided impaired. I have
cognitive and memory problems, so if I have asked these questions before,
please excuse me. I am still improving, although much slower now. But I
think that you never stop improving unless you give up. It is great that
you are back with the flea markets again. I'll bet your sons are a big help
to you there. Your wife sounds like a great lady. Tell her I said Hi.
That is a big job to keep track of three guys. Hope your Thanksgiving was a
good one. Take care and I look forward from hearing from you.
Cheryl

Connie
I know you are frightened. You have a right to be, your life has been
turned upside down and inside out.
I don't know how to tell you not to be afraid. Because I am afraid alot of
days also. I take an antidepressent also and it really does help. Please
see your doctor and ask for his advise regarding an antidepressent. It
won't take the fear away, but it will
help you cope better. I think that the future is scarry for all of us.
Because all of us have been awakened as to how fragile and precious life is
and how fast everything can change, just in a matter of seconds. We all
have also seen that we are not immune. You said your companion went home.
Who is that? Your house does sound big, maybe you can fill it with music
during the day or bring in flowers. I don't know where you live or what the
weather is like. Do you have a pet. If not, may you should consider
getting one for company. I have a cat and he is alot of company and brings
me alot of joy, even though he is old, fat and crabby sometimes. Pets bring
alot of happiness and makes a house not seem so empty.
Yes I am a stroke survivor. Mine was about 14 months ago. It was on the
right side so my left side is effected. I wear a brace on my left leg
because of a drop foot. My arm and hand is weaker than it was, but works
pretty well. My fine motor control is not real good in my fingers. I have
some cognitive problems and memory problems which I am addressing in special
classes for retraining. I work 27 hours a week after school. I have made
alot of progress and continue to progress, although it is slower and more
subtle now. The future is scarry for many of us. For me right now, am
just trying to get through today and then tomarrow, just get through that
day and so on. It is too overwhelming to get to far into the future. I am
just happy to see the birds fly and hear them sing, to see and feel the sun
and the leaves on the trees blow in the wind. I find joy in my
grandchildrens smile and laughter and innocense (sp). Try to think of
things that make you smile and maybe it will help you not to be so afraid.
You have alot of responsibility and worries that you did not have before, so
remember it is normal to feel the way that you do. We are always here. If
you ever want to call me, my number is 714-964-8076. Day or night. I am
gone though from 8:00 am until about 6:15 pm. I would call you, but I can't
call out of a 12 mile radius. I had it changed that way because of
finances. I live in California. Connie, hope your first night along goes
OK for you and your mom does OK. Let us hear from you.
Love,
Cheryl

Zooky- I got a neat pull out stand thingy at Best Buy for my new 19"
monitor. the monitor sits on top of it and I can pull the tray thing out to
dust underneath and the back of the monitor. I think the stand thing was
about $19.00 on sale. Kate I'd like it if MrsZ joined the group as your
caregiver,she sounds like a fun person, and I kinda like having other
Wisconsin natives around. Kate

Louise- one of my favorite sayings is "let go and let God"Earlier this week
I rushed off to see my grandaughter in the hospital about 800 miles away, I
came back a day early when the airline offerred me $50 to move my flight up
by about 14 hours. By then, I had remembered that I had to let go of the
need to try to handle Katelynn's crisis and let God take care of him and
have enough faith to trust that God would guide the hands of her nurses and
dovtors every step of the way and that my roly poly angel would be home
soon.. You can temporarily adjust your housekeeping standards until you get
your second wind. I went through a course once designed for "supermom
"wannabes". Our final assignment was to ignore the piles around us and sit
back in a comfy chair and read a good book or do our nails. Kate

Dear Cheryl and Whitegoose- of all the cooking I do sooups are my favorite.
I get neck bones from the local butcher(for about 30 cents/pound and put
them in a pot with about 6 cups of water, a stalk of celery. a garlic clove
ot wo and one bayleaf, bring that to a boil then simmer for 2-4 hours,
adding water as needed. The aroma is heavenly. Mixing a tbsp to 1 cup cold
water then pouring into a hot soup also makes a good thickemer. I like to
add barley and vegetables to this soup. The meat just flakes off the bone
with little effort. I also use chicken gizzards and parts of a cutup fryer
the same way but usually ad dumplings instead of thickening it and adding
barley. If you get bones with a lot of marrow, you might not need boulein
cubes for flavoring. When we have a roast beef or turkey, I usually save the
bones in a big ziplock bag that I keep in the frig for using to make broth
at a later date. If you use bay leaf when simmering remember to remove it
before serving the soup/stew. Kate

Dear Cheryl,
I think I was raised on soups (with bread to dip in them).
In Northern Ireland we had Irish Stew, but in Scotland we had
Scotch Broth. I was raised in Scotland by my
grandmother/grandfather and my great-grandmother. We had hearty
bone/beef shank soups and lamb-bone soups. Lentil, also thick
greenpea-with ham, and potato soup (which I never learned to make
despite numerous attempts).
In England, my mother-n-law (at the time) taught me how to make
Oxtail soup (delicious) and Fish Chowder (Aarch - it was
revolting)!!.
In Canada I learned to make every kind of soup under the sun.
Vancouver is so cosmopolitan.
The easiest way to make soup is just to use some Oxo cubes or
packets for stock. Throw in a handful of noodles, or rice, and a
cup or two of whatever veggies you have on hand. A few herbs
perhaps, and some leftover meat, poultry, fish. Boil up for an
hour or 2. Taste, season with salt and pepper and herbs (parsley,
savory, thyme, etc.) Add a teaspoon of butter before serving.
For a thicker soup, make a paste of flour and milk or water and add
to soup. To make this smooth, melt buttter in pan, add flour, then
milk, and keep stirring. Oh, a tablespoon of butter, 2 Tablespoons
of flour and about 1 cup of milk.
:)
whitegoose

Hi Zooky,
Excuse my ignorance, but I am not familiar with the expression
"MOI!" Please explain.
Also, am I lagging behind in computer technology? What is a "black
n' white?
I "looked after" almost 200 (LAN) computers at work before I
retired.
My gurus were the UBC Computer Department. Despite my ignorance
they were always wonderful to me and I learned a tremendous amount
from them. They were connected with the University bookstore
computer shop, and despite the "tendering process" prevalent at our
University, I convinced my bosses to "support our own bookstore" -
resulting in many "deals" and "discounts" and excellent service and
support.
I think you made a wonderful choice with the 19" monitor (50+
pounds)- no, DO NOT sign up Mrs. Z for body-building lessons for
Christmas!! <grins
DON'T move it! Nice that it has the same small footprint as a 17".
I am really happy with my 17". I have special lens "computer
glasses, which I can also get away with wearing during the day
(useless for far-vision or for reading though).
T=You wrote:
<...she didn't bat an eyelash when she discovered that I had
thrown in a few extra goodies. She merely handed over the credit
card - that was that! It'll be all paid off by end of Dec. so no
need to worry about cc interest charges - whew!
Wise woman - she knows you to a Tee!!
You wrote:
She gets the old system, I get the new one - when we get to Wash
I'll add the necessary cards to network them. Gotta keep my
technical fingers in the pie, hehe.
Great!! Have you advised Mrs. Z. she is qualified to join
"strokesurvivors international?"
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Dear Jane,
I looked up the website Louise provided, and also checked with
Amazon.com. This book is not yet in North America. It seems to be
an excellent book but is only seems to be available through
bookstores in the UK and is carried by amazon.com UK's branch.
I have asked amazon.com (US) to let me know whenever it is
available in North America.
In the meantime, for you, and others, I have compiled quite a
selection of fairly inexpensive books at our own website at
http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com/BooksP/index.htm
and I hope you will look there. Books are an excellent reference.
Although they are discounted books, many of them paperbacks, these
are often still too expensive for people whose incomes have been
severely curtailed by Stroke. You can use these pages for details
to see if your local library has them.
I have been working on an index for our Book pages, but don't have
librarian experience. Every time I try to do it, I end up changing
it drastically. ....One of these days I will get it right I hope.
If any of you have a favorite book (not necessarily about stroke)
that you would like to recommend for addition to our book pages
Please let me know.
love,
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Dear Joyce,
I enjoyed reading about your birthday festivities. You have a
wonderful husband and family. "Sweet potato" is decidedly foreign
to me, but I tried them and found I like them mashed with butter
and pepper. The topping of brown sugar doesn't appeal to me, but
then I like "savory" rather than "sweet." Interesting, however.
The salmon is right "up my alley." I used to think salmon was such
a dry fish. Now I love pink salmon out of the can, smashed up in a
bowl, bones and all, mixed with the water, lots of pepper, on a
soft roll which has been warmed up in the toaster oven to crisp the
outside crust. Broiled salmon is delicious. At the Lake we have a
Salmon Feast on one weekend in summer. One of the Lake residents
(a commercial salmon fisherman) donates the salmon, which is
barbecued,
and we all supply the salads and buns. This is the one time during
the year I don't seem to have a swallowing problem!!
Culture question: What's a popover?
Enjoy your 3 Tenors CD. I just listened to PBS "pledge program" -
listening to the golden voice of Cecelia Bartolli (sp?).
Talented husband making you a jewel box. It is lovely to hear of
your Happy Day. We need to hear good news from time to time also.
Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
love,
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Hi Gwenda,
It doesn't sound as if you will get much rest over Christmas - but
it will be a nice change for you going to Christchurch, window
shopping and taking in the Big City lights! Also a change from
cooking and household chores, and school and Girl Guide admin.
tasks. If you take it easy it should be lovely drive over the
Southern Alps of New Zealand. So you don't have "Thanksgiving" -
Well, in a way - yes you do Gwenda - on the Internet, in
cyberspace, we have everything!! You will have to tell us what to
do on Waitangi Day!
I always enjoy your quotes and hearing about your weather.
Vancouver, BC has now entered the "rainy season" Look out the
windows and a sea of black umbrellas are walking about!
We are lucky though, we have mild winters compared to the rest of
Canada. In the Fraser Valley - there is a view of snowcapped Mount
Baker in Washington (volcano that last erupted in 1860-70). If you
can see Mt. Baker it means "it's going to rain." If you can't - it
means "it's raining."
love,
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Dear Kate (for Louise also),
Glad to have you back Kate, and I am so relieved to hear the baby
is now doing much better. What a traumatic experience for everyone
(especially the parents). Understandable that they feel "wiped
out." Just like the period following your Mom coming home after
her stroke (and just as Louise is feeling), I think this is a
similar emotional strain that can be likened to "Battle Fatigue."
When things go wrong or take "a turn for the worse" we are very
quick to blame ourselves and berate ourselves for our human
frailties.
(To Kate and others, but mainly for Louise) -
Tomorrow is the 3rd yr. anniversary of my stroke, and I recall I
was under intense strain in the weeks leading up to it. In fact I
had worked overtime 2+ hours setting up and installing new
computers, and went straight to the Lake from work, where I sat up
to 4 a.m. preparing lengthy grievances on behalf of several union
employees.
I hope for those of us able to - that we will make Christmas a
restful and contemplative period. Louise - ask your doctor about
antidepressants for yourself, as Kate suggests. Looking after
yourself is paramount. Do what you can and leave what you can't.
Do only simple cleanups with a big promise to yourself to take care
of it next year during spring cleanup time! Prepare simple but
nourishing meals. Be good to yourself! Your dad will recover
gradually, and there will be bad, but also good, days.
Improvements occur but very slowly - he needs only reassurance, and
knowing that you are "there" for him.
Mary G. and Bill and Carol Ann helped me to turn the "really bad
problems" over to a "Higher Power." If you can do this, I
recommend it also. And keep writing to us, we are here to support
you.
love,
Whitegoose

=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Thanks, Louise, for the book tip. We have our fingers crossed that we can
get help from the VA, but it will be helpful to get a sense of what we can
do on our own. J

To Cheryl and the group,
I am writing because this is going to be my first night alone since my
father died in the house with my mom. I am frightened and hoping I live
through all this. The man in my life went home and so did my longtime
companiion, and this is a big house, and it is amazingly quiet here. My mom
has her ups and downs. I am scared of the future but will begin to act on it
tomorrow. I am not feeling well, and I just don't know how I am going to cope
with all of this. I live in a 6rm with basement house and it seems so empty
now. My mom is still fragile. I have really appreciated all the kind words of
support, and Cheryl., I didn't know that you were a stroke survivior too. I
am glad you are getting better. God, how I HATE strokes, if i were a
celebrity, that would be my charity of choice. Are there any suggestions for
how to handle this? I may wind up on Paxil myself, or something. As it is I
am taking ambien every night. I am trying to take the inspiration from my
friends, and run with it, but the house that I have been in all my life with
2 parents, has only one now, and she isn't well. All in 2 months time. Well,
I know others have it worse than I, from reading these letters, but, it is a
trial nonetheless. I have been in therapy for 14 years. So, these problems
are not short term. So, anyway, thank you for being there to write all this
to. I sure need it now.
Love to Cheryl, and all who have written to me, all Gods help to
everyone,
Connie

Dear Louise- having a stroke survivor come home can be very anti-climatic, you
put a lot of energy into preparing for it, then when it happens all you can do
is "wait and see" wahat happens next. If your feelings persist, talk to your
doctor about whether or not anti-depressants would be right for you.
"Situational depression "is very common in caregiver's. When my mom first came
home from the hospital. I was wiped out both physically and emotionally.Both me
and the brother who participated in her caregiving ended up on Paxil once our
mom came home. After I had a stroke of my own 6 months after my mom did, I
stayed on the Paxil, but my brother was able to go off the medication.Right now,
I can foresee the same thing coming up with my daughter and son-in-law because
their little girl(8months old) is in Intensive Care following a near fatal bout
with a common childhood rispiratory virus, all of their emotional reserves have
been used up getting through the crisis stages. Even though their little girl is
doing welll now, their nerves are shot. The doctor in the Infant Intensive Care
Unit arranged for a Internal Medicine doctor to come talk to them about
different alternatives to combat the depression the PICU drs often witness. My
son in law started taking St John's Wort and my daughter was started on a low
dose of Paxil. In order to take care of your dad, you have to take care of
yourself. Kate

Hi Cheryl,

Sounds like you've had a great weekend - far less nerve-wracking than what you thought. I haven't thought much about Christmas so far - just trying to get through the rest of the school term, etc. Schools finish here for the summer vacation in about 3-4 weeks time. Dennis and I will be going to Christchurch (about 4 hours drive over the Southern Alps to the east) for a week or so over Christmas. His family is scattered all over the world, with only one daughter still living in the South Island, and unable to travel here for Christmas. My son is working in Australia, and my daughter/SIL and grandson will be going north, so we are going to stay with my sister and her family. It will be low-key - go visit with friends and relations (I'm originally from Chch), and maybe even do a bit of 'virtual' retail therapy - the sort where you don't have to spend money!

We don't have Thanksgiving over here - it's not relevant to our culture. We celebrate different holidays at different times of the year - Queen's Birthday in June, Waitangi Day in February, etc.

Well, time for me to go have some lunch before I go to work for the afternoon. The weather here recently has been like winter again, even to the fresh snow on the mountains! Hey come on, will someone please tell the Man Up There that we're supposed to be moving into summer here?!?!

Talk to you this evening.

Sunshine,

Gwenda

Gwenda

I keep forgetting that your time zone is totally different. It is summer there? It is winter here. It is November 26, today, what day is it at your house. Is that a dumb question? It sounds dumb. My daughter and 4 grandchildren came over for a little while today. Really was not a good day for them to come, because I have so much to do, but I do enjoy seeing them. They stayed for about 2-1/2 hrs or so. Maybe a little longer. I should have had these projects finished. Just seem to get slower and slower all the time. Well better go, I need to finish them today.

Will write more later.

Love,

Cheryl

Dear Jane:
Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I have been busy with my dad. In
doing searches on the net, I came across this site with a book about self
help for stroke. It may be something you want to look into. Amazon has it, I
think. The address is www.stroke-rehab.com/page9.html
Take care,
Louise

Hi everyone... with my dad coming home this past Wed. I have been very busy,
and behind in my e-mails.
Thanks to all who have been helping me with your stories, tips, and
experiences. I haven't been able to remember the names of everyone who has
helped - please forgive me - but THANKS TO YOU ALL. My dad is doing ok, and
my mom is managing him well. The home therapy should start next week.
Now that the immediate "crisis" is over, I am feeling quite down. The work
has been piling up all month - and I haven't been keeping up. Now that dad
is home, and I have more time, I look around at the messes and undone jobs
and feel overwhelmed. I have the urge to stay in bed and forget it all. Has
onyone else gone through this? Is it a normal phase? Please share your
experiences. Thanks.

Yeppers - my first choice was a "black-n-white". But, I checked out
everything, plus got LOTS of advice from our pc guys at work (after all, it's
a computer company, hehe).
Well, I went with the 19" - vision continues to go downhill - gotta read
everything in at least 12 point font. My current 17" has a hard time keeping
up with that. For several years, I've worked with the 19"s at work - that
really helped a lot (especially since I typically have five or six windows
active at a time).
AGREED! :) However, the 19" that I went with has the same footprint as my
current 17" so all *should* be well. Agree on the weight, though. The 17"
weighs 42 lbs, the 19" weighs 55 lbs.
Again, agreed! She knew I did my research so when we went to the "cow" store
today she didn't bat an eyelash when she discovered that I had thrown in a
few extra goodies. She merely handed over the credit card - that was that!
It'll be all paid off by end of Dec. so no need to worry about cc interest
charges - whew!
She gets the old system, I get the new one - when we get to Wash I'll add the
necessary cards to network them. Gotta keep my technical fingers in the pie,
hehe.
So, on or about 12/4, a "black-n-white" will show up at our door - it has all
the toys that anyone could ask for - including the 19" monitor so's I can see
what the heck I'm doing - even if I don't exactly understand. Yeah! A
challenge!

Whitegoose
I will be just fine. I certainly won't starve. As I said before I love
homemade soups. they are cheap to make and can eat off a large pot of soup
for a long time. I have a small freezer so I have the room to freeze
things. I am going to buy a turkey, they are cheap now. I don't eat alot
of meat. Only poultry and fish. And not even that every day. I eat mostly
fruits and vegetables. I learned to cook cheap when I was raising my kids
by myself. I am not worried, so please don't you worry either. I like to
put carrots, zuccinni, onions cabbage and tomatoes in my vegetable soup and
I make chicken soup also. I love bean soup and I make that as well without
meat with just different kinds of beans, onions, can of tomatoes, celery and
chicken broth. It is good and good for you. If you have any soup recipes
you would like to share, I would love to have them. Everything always works
out and I realize that after I get finished panicing and feeling sorry for
myself, then I get determined and I always seem to make it somehow. The
hats sound like a good idea. Straw hats are cheap. i have used straw hats
before but not for hats. I have made snowmen wreaths, bunny wreaths and
scarecrow wreaths out of them. BTW, I loved the poem or what ever it was
about the old man and the little boy. It is priceless. Also the story
about the cactus. I forwarded that one to my friend in Arizona. yes,
Thanksgiving was altered abit, but it was nice anyway. My son did most of
the cooking. All I did was the dressing. He did everything else. His
girlfriend came later and brought a nice salad. So it was nice. But I felt
badly for her family. I truly enjoyed the time with my son though. I don't
see him often and so that was really nice.
Better go, and read the rest of the e-mails. i will write more later.
Love
Cheryl

Zooky
I have a 17" monitor and love it When I go to work and the monitor are the
smaller ones it is harder to see on them.
Cheryl

Hi Cheryl, I'm a bit behind with my emails. What a shocking turn
of events re your thanksgiving plans. Well, there was quite a turn
of events, with you ending up giving the Thanksgiving Dinner at
your son's place with him and his girlfriend. I much prefer
chicken to turkey - I'm sure the meal was wonderful, if a little
subdued because of the unexpected death in her "family." Plans
often go awry, sometimes with unexpected results. My regrets and
condolences to her mother.
Your budget sounds just dreadful. Do you have Food Banks where you
are? Aren't their any social agencies that can help you out? Go
visit the local churches. I'm ashamed to say this is a part and
parcel of Canadian lifestyle in Vancouver, BC. We have Food Banks
for those who can't make ends meet. We have lots of local agencies
helping out with food, clothing and shelter.
All my thoughts and prayers are with you Cheryl.
love,
whitegoose
=====
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Dear Connie,
There is nothing I can add. Cheryl said it all, sincerely and from
the heart. And she is absolutely right. So be kind to yourself.
:)
whitegoose

=====
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Hi Zooky,
Well, I'm glad you resisted the urge to overspend on a new
computer.
Have you done a comparison with the Brand names on the net, such as
hewlettpackard (www.hp.com) Dell, Gateway, etc. And use your good
search engines to do some comparison shopping.
Mary Claire made a lot of good sense about caution in buying the
larger monitor. I agree 14" is far too small. I have a 17" and
have a good driver to adjust display and font size to suit my
vision needs comfortably. 21" screens are almost a "must" for
AutoCad and other map-type graphic programs. Even 19" are a bit on
the skimpy side for AutoCad (Computer-Aided Drafting).
Now, there may be vision problems we are unaware of. I still would
recommend a 17" (max. 19"). Go back to your favourite and
second-favourite stores and sit down for 15 minutes in front of
both of them. Are they internet-connected in the store demos? If

Hi to Our Group,
An interesting story from Bill and Carol Ann.
:)
whitegoose
<<This will make you think twice about your houseplants!
NEVER BUY A NOISY CACTUS:
A True Story
In the second such incident in the Southwest, a San Diego woman
purchased a
large cactus during the redecoration of her home. The huge cactus
was a
fitting centerpiece for her "New Southwest" look, and she was quite
happy
with her $3,000 purchase - for a while. A few days later, she
noticed that
the big cactus seemed to be swaying and.... humming.
Bewildered and not knowing where else to turn, she dialed 9-1-1 and
-
fortunately for her - got an operator who knew what this
uncactuslike
behavior meant. She was told to clear out of the house immediately,
like
right now - and wait for an emergency team.
The responding five man team had just enough time to move the huge
cactus
into the back yard before it burst wide open, scattering about a
thousand
tarantulas in all directions. The nursery where she had purchased
the cactus
refunded her $3,000 and paid for exterminator service for the
entire block.
When asked later how her plants were, the lady replied,
"Plastic and silk, thank you!
The fashion of using cacti for home decoration is fairly new, but
tarantulas
have been using them for mass breeding farms for a long, long, long
time
==========================================
=====
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Hi Cheryl,
I'm doing my e-mails out of order tonight. My comments beside
yours IN CAPS.

IT TOOK ME A WHILE TOO.
I had a nice Thanksgiving day. I did
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THANKSGIVING DINNER AT YOUR SON'S GIRLFRIEND'S
PLACE AND THAT YOU FELT HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE. BEING AWAY FROM
HOME IS NICE, BUT IT IS NEVER THE SAME COMFORT LEVEL AS YOUR OWN
HOME, AND ANY LITTLE STRAIN OR STRESS CAUSES TIREDNESS. CHERYL,
WITH ALL THE THINGS YOU ARE MAKING AND PLANNING (DECORATIONS, GIFTS
FOR THE GRANDCHILDREN, ETC) YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON I WOULD CONSIDER
AS LAZY. REST TIME IS NECESSARY, AND MOST DEFINITELY NOT LAZY!!
I have been working on a Santa Music
SEE WHAT I MEAN?- YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT SOMETHING "ON THE GO." I WISH
I WAS TALENTED LIKE YOU. I DO HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU TO
CONSIDER. DECORATING STRAW HATS FOR SALE! A NEW YEAR'S PROJECT
FOR YOU TO CONSIDER. SUMMER HATS ARE DEFINITELY A "BIG THING" AS
WE STROLL ABOUT UNDER THE GIANT NUCLEAR FURNACE IN THE SKY. YOU
COULD MAKE THEM WITH ARTIFICIAL FLOWERS, RIBBONS, BOWS (THAT'S MY
IMAGINATION AT AN END - BUT I AM SURE YOU CAN COME UP WITH LOTS OF
IDEAS). SEND ME PICTURES & WE'LL MAKE A WEBPAGE FOR YOU, AND WHO
KNOW, YOU MIGHT BE IN BUSINESS. I BOUGHT A PLAIN BLACK STRAW HAT
WITH BRIM FOR $4 AND SEWED A BROAD BLACK SATIN RIBBON AROUND IT
WITH PUSSY-CAT VELVET BOW AT THE BACK. HOWEVER, ALTHOUGH IT WAS
SIMPLE IT LOOKED VERY FORMAL AND NO GOOD FOR THE LAKE OR CASUAL
WEAR. I NEED SOMETHING "SUMMERY." WILL YOU THINK ABOUT IT?
It is kinda cold tonight. Especially
I KEEP MY THERMOSTAT AT 72deg. UP TO 75DEG. WHEN I HAVE VISITORS
(FOR THEIR SAKE) AND UNLESS IT IS WINDY AND/OR DRIVING RAIN USUALLY
KEEP A FEW WINDOWS CRACKED OPEN. I HATE IT HOT AND STUFFY. OUR
BUILDING IS ABOUT 40 - 50 YRS. OLD AND IS HEATED BY OLD HOT-WATER
BASEBOARD HEATER (HOT PIPES IN BEHIND) - COZY, BUT CHEAP.
I HOPE TO GET BACK TO WORKING ON OUR WEBSITE AGAIN SOON, I HAVE
BEEN NEGLECTING IT. I HAVE BEEN SCARING MYSELF TO DEATH READING
ABOUT "MAD COW DISEASE" ON THE WEB. I WAS A VEGETARIAN (NOT
STRICTLY, I ALLOWED MYSELF DAIRY PRODUCE, POULTRY AND FISH), BUT
SINCE A HOSPITALIZATION IN 1999 WHEN ALL MY BLOOD COUNTS WERE LOW,
AND I WAS ANAEMIC AND DEHYDRATED & NEEDED IRON, POTASSIUM, B6 & B12
SHOTS, FOLIC ACID ETC. ETC. I HAVE BEEN EATING SMALL AMOUNTS OF
BEEF, PORK AND LAMB (I STILL EAT TONS OF FISH AND SEAFOOD THO).
My son and I worked on
I MAKE LOTS AND LOTS OF SOUP. WHEN MY APPETITE IS "DOWN" I CAN
ALWAYS MANAGE SOUP. I FIND SINCE THE STROKE, I TIRE EASILY CUTTING
UP ALL THE VEGETABLES, SO HAVE STARTED SITTING DOWN TO DO THIS. I
FIND I AM MAKING MORE "BLENDER" SOUPS USING PREMADE POWDERED
CHICKEN AND BEEF STOCKS.
BYE FOR NOW AND TAKE CARE,
LOVE,
WHITEGOOSE
=====
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Hi Rita,
I have just changed your email options at egroups to Daily Digest
(one email containing all the day's messages). You can also go to
http://www.egroups.com/messages/strokesurvivors
<A HREF="http://www.egroups.com/messages/strokesurvivors"
and read all the messages at any time by clicking on "Messages".
You may have to sign in and register a password if you haven't done
this before.
:)
whitegoose
=====
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In speaking with my grandaughter a couple of weeks ago, she was 13 on 11-13. I told her, boy I sure was getting old. I could remember them wheeling her out of the delivery room and seemed like yesterday. She wrote an e-mail back to me and said "G-ma, you are not old, I am just getting older" I thought that was cute. No matter how you look at it. years pass by.

Cheryl

Well, is everybody starting to look and feel like a turkey?

So, somebody is now 60! Wow! Glad I don't have to worry anything like that for another three months! In the following verse, you can substitute anything you want for "Old".

God Bless,

Bill

SISTERS AND BROTHERS
That wise and sensitive poet Shel Silverstein wrote a short verse
he called "The Little Boy and the Old Man." It goes like this:
Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon."
Said the little old man, "I do that too."
The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants."
"I do that too," laughed the little old man.
Said the little boy, "I often cry."
The old man nodded, "So do I."
"But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me."
And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.
"I know what you mean," said the little old man.
We are really not so different, are we? Old and young. Male and
female. Those of us from one nationality or another, this
political bent or that. This race or that race. Those from one
social class and those from another. Don't we feel the same
things? Desire the same things? And don't we laugh at the same
things and have similar problems?

I can see that I would appreciate this group, but I can't handle so many
emails. do you have a digest? Rita

Hi to our Group,
Michael, recently joined our group, and posted the following to our
Guest Book at our strokesurvivors' website. I replied to him and
received his permission to post his message to our group.
:) whitegoose
Michael writes:
<<I had my stroke on june 23 of '97 after surgery to repair 4
cervical vertibre (neck) that were pressing against the spinal
cord. I had
bone taken from 4 vetibre to correct the problem then a piece of
bone graphed back in place with a titaium plate to cover that area.
I
had that done to keep from losing the use of everything from neck
down. The surgery went very well, but....2 days later I had a clot
move into the brain. I lost a month of my life that I have no idea
what happeneded and 10 months in a very uncomfortable neck brace. I
shocked the surgeons by stroking and then regaining the use of eye
sight and most of the use of leg and arm, but still feel like a
mental missfit. I still forget where I'm going and what I'm doing
ect.
I'm thankful of such a good recovery and great family support from
my wife and 2 sons. Thanks Michael
=====
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I can see where I would appreciate this group, but can't handle so many
emails. do you have a digest? Thanks Rita

Ya know, now that I'm 60 has caused me to think some wise thoughts on getting
old. To wit:
- The sunset is as beautiful as the sunrise
- Diapers on the way in; DEPENDS on the way out
- Circumcised on the way in; a Foley on the way out
- Measles shot on the way in; flu shot on the way out
- Baby bottle on the way in; a bottle of beer on the way out
- Chasing girls on the way in; forgetting what to chase on the way out
Gimme a case of beer, there's a few of those I wanna leave out! :)

Although I now realize that I should have put my foot down and insisted we
not "do" Thanksgiving this year it was Bill's desire that we continue with
our tradition. I acquiesced because he would have been so utterly
disappointed otherwise.
We made an unscheduled trip to the doctor Wednesday because he wasn't
feeling well. It was found that he has fluid outside the lungs and his
diaphragm is positioned upward because of his surgery. He had been having
periods of rapid panting and I was a little frightened. At least the lungs
were clear. (He has coronary insufficiency and breathing is difficult if
his lungs fill with fluid.) His doctor increased his dose of diuretic but
Thanksgiving was a really bad day for him, nevertheless.
Today started badly too. That strange breathing again and fluid retention.
But now he is much better. I was taking a nap a little while ago and when I
awakened he was gone!!! Instant panic. Fortunately, he had taken his cell
phone and my call found him on the way home from the drugstore which is four
blocks away!!!!!!! I was utterly astounded. He walked there and back.
What a difference. Earlier I was preparing for a trip to the emergency
room -- he wouldn't eat (he has diabetes), or drink, and he felt bad. It
feels as though we are on a roller coaster -- now I am relieved. Mary
Claire

No, you're not alone, Connie, not in any of this. You have very eloquently
described the relationship you had with your father and, unfortunately, it's
not unique. In fact, it's very like my relationship with my father, who is
now also dead. It's not a comfort, but you may understand your father
better if you realize that he very likely learned his deplorable style of
parenting from his own father and that grandfather from his father before
him.
In therapy I learned that my (your) father's meanness toward you actually
had little to do with you, but more to do with his feelings about himself,
which he learned from the way he was treated by his parents. I'm sure he
did love you to the best of his ability and also that he thought that what
he was doing "was for your own good." But it's just really, really sad for
both of you that he was so damaged, that he couldn't realize how he was
damaging you, in turn.
As the child in the relationship you had with him, the feelings of fear and
anger you have toward him are entirely natural and understandable. Please,
please don't reproach yourself for a single second for them. It's normal to
grieve for what never was, but then you must pick up the pieces. I know
that you are doing the very best that you can. And that's all anyone can
do, isn't it? Please continue to write. Love, Mary Claire

Joyce

Happy Belated Birthday. Hope it was a great day for your.

cheryl

Mary Claire
I think that was really rude of your guests to say so long, especially
because they new Bill's Situation. I bet you are so tired. How is Bill
doing? You both need a good rest and I hope that is what you plan on doing
for the next week or so.
Love,
Cheryl

Hope you have a great birthday!
Janice

A very Happy Birthday to you too, Joyce. I hope you blew out all the candles and all your wishes come true!!! Mary Claire

Happy Birthday Zooky.
I hope you had a lovely Birthday Dinner with Mrs. Z. and a fruitful
visit to the "Toy Store."
:)
whitegoose
=====
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY Z00KY! You know you are a schemer don't you. Good luck
on getting a new PC. You deserve it. Hugs,Patti

Between Thanksgiving preparations and internet server problems I've been
more or less out of contact. I hope Thanksgiving was enjoyable for everyone
who observes it.
Ours was mixed. Poor Bill fell asleep at the table and went off to doze
among the heap of coats on the bed. He rejoined us later, was listless and
unresponsive and went off to sleep again. Cheryl was right. He really
wasn't up to it. I myself am exhausted because despite repeated yawning on
my part I had guests who stayed until 3:00 in the morning.
I am grateful for our friends, but this was ridiculous! Mary Claire

Congratulations z00ky. Been there. Done that.
Ron Schloss

Best happy birthday wishes, Zooky. And many, many happy returns of the day.
Mary Claire

Today I turned 60 - big deal! I pinched myself this a.m., just to make sure
I made it. Didn't feel a thing - oh, oh, maybe I didn't make it after all.
But, then I remembered I was pinching my right side - it can't feel a thing!
So, I pinched the left side - whew - all's well.
When my wife left for work this a.m. she told me to select my favorite
restaurant for dinner this eve. Well, have decided to go to HER favorite
restaurant. By accident, of course, it happens to be near my favorite "toy"
store. After taking her to her favorite place I will casually mention that
I'd like to just "browse" (uh, huh) in my 'toy' store. With any luck, I'll
come home with a new pc (have been softening her up for several weeks on this
so it should fly ok, hehe). Of course, cleaning up T-day mess, having done
dishes & laundry today *should* increase my chances, too. (vbeg)

Hi,
I think aol users have to put special hypermarks around the URL
Try this:
<A Href="http://www/consumerlab.com/results/CoQ10.htm:
The entire line gets put into your aol browser's location line (I
think).
:)
whitegoose

=====
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We normally don't experiment with new things when we're cooking for company.
But, we saw how Martha Stewart did her turkey (and, gravy). Decided to give
it a whirl. Basting the bird with wine & butter - covered with a cheese
cloth truly intrigued us. Finding the right kind of wine proved problematic.
We ended up going thru 4 bottles of wine before we found one that we really
didn't like to drink by itself but was good enough for the bird (hic). The
bird & gravy ended up AWESOME!
However, all of this reminded me of myself - several decades ago. I can make
an awesome Coq Au Vin. Back then, I had a bassett hound that was truly a
lush. We would start out making the bird by giving it the proper amount of
wine. To do it right, you're supposed to continually add wine as it cooks.
Well, the bird kept getting less-n-less, more of it went to me & pooch. By
the time it was done, all 3 of us were "stewed". :)
Ahhhhhhhhhh, the good ole days.

There's quite a few good voice recognition programs available that you may
want to check out. They convert the spoken word to written word. Even if he
has speech impediments that's no problem. Said programs can be "taught" to
recognize the individuals speech patterns.

My very first instructor on herbs came from Wales. She was also keen on
Oats, but used soy milk. She thought US bread was disgusting - she never
experienced bread that contained sugar until she arrived here. She promptly
decided to make her own bread. I forget what she used to make the yeast
"active", but it wasn't sugar. Milk was also a no-no but she wasn't as
adamant about that as the sugar. I don't think she consumed ANYTHING that
had sugar, including raw sugar.

Dear Zooky,
2 yrs. ago my cousins visited on Thanksgiving Day (in October in
Canada). They came from Northern Ireland, visiting Singapore, a
lengthy trip in Australia ( NW, then Sidney, then the western
coast) and dropped into Canada for a few days before going back to
UK.
He is an Opthalmologist, she is the Coroner (Forensic Dr.) for a
state in Co. Tyrone, so we had wonderful discussions.
I have stroke deficits, had to plan to save my strength, but gave
them a wonderful Canadian Thanksgiving.
Turkey Roll with stuffing (precooked at the marked). I just had to
slice and heat it. Baked potato (my toaster oven) with a couple of
yams - totally new to them - they liked it.
asparagus with white sauce (a little flour and butter and milk in
the pan with some herbs can make a gorgeous sauce)
Pumpkin pie (they thought it was revolting). I disappeared it
quickly and gave them strawberries and whipped cream.
We had a great evening.
Next morning - what did they have for breakfast?
Quaker Oats. Salted (absolutely no sugar) and lots of milk.
Despite their mansion in Ireland, we went back to childhood days.
:)
whitegoose

Z00ky, in reply or on the same line of that. My youngest child,
a son, will always be mommas little boy or my baby. Of course my baby
is 38 and is very successful as a computer programer at Boeing.
Happy thanksgiving to everyone. Hugs, Patti

Thank you Zooky.
I miss my dad (died of lung cancer at age 81 in 1995). He had been
diagnosed only a few months before, too late to save his lung, and
the C. had spread to the other lung and his liver. He wanted to
take a trip to N. Ireland to see his family and friends. Plus a
girlfriend from his teen years in England)!!!
With the cancer docs permission (he had a few weeks only in
remission), and against the wishes of my mom and sister, I took him
for the holiday. He was wonderfuly active and animated, wore me
out and walked the legs off me. We travelled N.ireland and
southern Ireland, England and Scotland (he was fine - I came home
with flu.). He died 9 weeks after we came back.
The family (mom and sister) have only reconciled with me this year.
To them it was a waste of time, energy and expense. Now, I realize
we all only wanted what was best for him, but a few hours before he
died he said to me "Dorothy, wouldn't it be wonderful to be in
Ireland this morning - on the "Oul 'Derry Road?" and I knew I had
done the right thing. That was the last walk we took - up to the
Blackwater Lough (lake). He laughed at me catching a duck and
stroking its wings. After I let it go the stupid duck kept coming
back to me (dad said "a glutton for punishment"}
:)
whitegoose

Hi to our Group,
As Canada heads into an election on November 27, 2000 the main
issue in our country is Canada's Health System. Already,
paid-medical/user-fee has infiltrated 2 of our Provinces (Alberta
and Quebec), and everyone's concern is the deterioration into a
2-tier health care system (from an equal system for everyone
regardless of wealth). Well, this is not a political message - but
I am as concerned about medical care as I know my friends in the
USA are. Here is some news I picked up on the following website:
http://www.healthcentral.com/news/newsfulltext.cfm?ID=44104&src=n1
I am printing it below also:
Medicare HMOs on shaky ground; seniors' options
dwindle November 08, 2000
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Many HMOs remaining in the Medicare
program in 2001 are financial weaklings, according to a study
released Wednesday by Weiss Ratings, Inc.
Based in part on the financial weakness of plans in the study, the
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida-based rating agency is warning seniors
who have been dropped by their HMO not to join another HMO.
Visit the HMO's and Managed Care Topic Center
It is the first time that the agency has recommended that Medicare
beneficiaries avoid re-enrolling in another HMO. "I think it's bad
that we go through these ups and downs at the expense of seniors
that are caught in the fray," Dr. Martin D. Weiss, the agency's
chairman, told
Reuters Health.
Visit the HMO's and Managed Care Topic Center at
http://www.healthcentral.com/Centers/OneCenter.cfm?Center=Hmo
Citing continuing problems with Medicare+Choice and the likelihood
that more plans will bail out of the program, Weiss concludes that
seniors should opt back into traditional Medicare and shop around
for a good medigap policy.
HMO withdrawals from the Medicare program are expected to force
nearly 1 million of the 6.5 million beneficiaries participating in
Medicare+Choice to find alternative and often more expensive
coverage.
The health plan exodus greatly narrows seniors' viable options,
said
Weiss, whose agency rates 237 Medicare+Choice plans.
Of the 90 plans that will remain in the program after December 31,
37 are losing money. Those losses totaled $654 million in 1999 and
$82 million in the first quarter of 2000.
Thirty-four of the 90 plans have been rated D+ or lower based on
their weak financial condition, the study found. Only 22 plans have
earned a rating of B- or better.
Weiss predicts some future involvement between HMOs and Medicare
but does not expect the program to survive in its current form. "I
think Medicare+Choice is going to be mostly history," he told
Reuters Health.
It is inevitable, he said, that more plans will drop out next year,
which is one reason he is telling seniors that a Medicare HMO is
not a viable option anymore.

Dear Tony,
Russ is indeed fortunate in having you for a friend.
Our group discussed the "Stroker" term a while ago. We agree it is
probably not the right term. "Strokee" is probably more accurate.
I use "Stroker" as a shortened version of "Stroke Survivor" -
anyone who has a stroke, is , in my humble opinion, at first a
victim, as is all those close to him/her. Through active
interraction, therapy, care and support, we try to turn ourselves
from being "victims" to "survivors."
Russ is taking a multitude of meds (as most of us do after stroke).
At best, these minimize the risks of having another stroke. Some
of the side effects can be pretty distressing and annoying.
I have short-term memory deficits. I forget now when Russ had his
stroke. I applaud you for helping him by typing for him. I
certainly can empathize with his frustration in the ability to
comprehend words, especially when he doesn't always hear them or
hears something quite different.
Sometimes repitition helps to regain some of the "lost" memory.
Keep trying with the cards i.e. Making large print readable cards
containing his name and address, and phone number. Even one with
his social security no. on it - so he can associate printed
symbols.
Sometimes there is a "mind-body" connection that may/may not kick
in as the brain continues to try to heal.
You obviously are infinitely patient with him, and this is what he
needs. The balance may/may not improve. My stroke was classed as
"mild" and my balance was terrible the first year, now, it is much
improved, except when I am tired - same with my speech and
swallowing.
That is also wonderful of you to help him walking without his
walker. Russ does have potential to make improvements (I believe),
but they will be very subtle and over a long time period.
How sad to hear about your mother. Have your considered a nursing
home for her. This is one of the most difficult conditions to deal
with (involving serious safety issues for you as well as her). You
can only do so much Tony.
You are right - you have to look after your own health and
wellbeing. If anything happened to you - you wouldn't be able to
help either Russ or your mother.
My stroke was caused (apparently) by uncontrolled high blood
pressure and, according to my doctor, completely preventable if I
had been taking my medication as prescribed.
Please get medication and control this blood pressure. Also it's
important to maintain a reasonably healthy lifestyle to avoid
"burnout".
I think you can help Russ. I don't think you can do much for your
mother (with dementia) other than find the best care home within
the budget and visit her often. Trying to do everything and
maintain your own health/wellbeing is impossible. This advice is
meant kindly. You are a wonderful person to be concerned.
Kate has given an excellent explanation and advice about the
various speech/comprehension disorder. She is a registered nurse
and social worker. I am a layperson, knew nothing about stroke
till I had one, and am still learning.
Talk with the doctors, hospital social workers, and whoever you can
concerning alleviating Russ and your mother's situations.
You wrote:
<< The interesting thing is that Russ and my mother worry more
about me than others do. If I vent frustration over things at
times, people often view it as complaining. Very little
understanding at times from people on burnout and stress for
caregivers. Usually people realize too late.
My response:
Of course, they do. They know you for the good person you are. I
believe Russ's mind is intact, but his abilities to express himself
have been damaged. Your mother also has her lucid moments, but
both feel frustrated and helpless to give you advice and guidance.
You wrote:
<< It's almost like there's been a death. There's the usual
rallying around of support from friends and family at first and
then they simply disappear. Illness is just too much for people.
I
understand their thinking. I've been there myself.
We have some of the most compassionate people on the planet in our
group, our caregivers, and they have expressed these same
sentiments. The "Stroker" has changed. I feel every day since
stroke I am living on "Borrowed Time." I even decided the "old me"
was gone forever, and I adopted the name of "whitegoose" (long
story for some other time). Inside we are the same, however, but
our whole perception of life has changed. My grandfather had
dementia, and died in a mental hospital (after numerous treatments
of electro-shock therapy).
The family tried to keep him at home. He was a cat lover, and in a
"delusional moment" through the 20-yr. old cat out of a large
plate-glass window (cat survived). He had no recollection. He
burned hundreds of pound notes (this was in the UK) declaring them
"forgeries"). He set the house on fire (quick action prevented
damage). He stripped naked at midnight one night and terrified a
very prim and proper very elderly spinster living next door!! We
laughed at that one!!
Please write to us (vent your frustrations), we are here for you.
love,
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Mary-J (in Buffalo),
I lived in Kitimat, northern BC for 7-1/2 years where the average
winter snowfall was 32 ft. Sometimes I had nightmares about being
buried alive just by the normal snowfall. I had a slanted aluminum
roof for the snow to slide off the house, but until we built the
porch, the snow used to fall in front of the front door and 2 or 3
times the fire dept. had to dig me out.
Coming south to Vancouver, BC - I really do miss the snow.
We had no problems with cars up north - we had studded tires or
chains.
A snowfall in Vancouver, BC happens a few days every winter and
everything comes to a standstill.
I'm so glad your mom is doing so well, and that you can leave her
alone for periods of time. This helps her self-esteem also.It has
been a long haul for you and Vivian, but your careful planning,
determination, and loving care has truly paid off.
I can never stress enough, the importance of making daily notes -
especially in the beginning, and checking everything out with the
medical people.
love,
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

<<<Dear Mary-Justine,
What a lovely message you wrote to one of our new caregivers. You wrote
from the heart and expressed everything beautifully. Thank you,
:)
whitegoose
aw shucks.... <g
till I found you guys, I had no one to understand how I was feeling.
Time to give that back now...
<<<(Note to Group:
MJ herself suffers from a debilitating illness since childhood. Her care
for her mother reflects the care her mother most certainly gave her
while she was growing up, and becoming a beautiful lady). whitegoose
Well... I actually wouldn't call it that, per se. <g
I just have to work around my four limbs and their various glitches. <g
I actually feel quite lucky -- compared to what some of our strokers
deal with on a daily basis, I feel like i should be running the Boston
Marathon. <g
Happy Thanksgiving to all those in the US -- if you are alive and well
and reading this, then it already *is* a happy day!!!
MJ <--- who is writing from *very* snowy Buffalo -- 25 inches on
Monday!!!!

This is to ALL daughters - no matter how old you may be. Speaking on behalf
of all fathers, I just wanted to say "thanks for being there". I know we
sometimes don't show our love and affection for you the way you would want us
to show it - but, that doesn't change our inner-feelings for you. No matter
what happens - you will always be "daddy's little girl".
Hugz,
Zooky

What a cute card & game. I caught him on the second click. That's really good for me with my shaky left hand. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate it.

Joyce

I tried making a turkey pot pie by trying to put a 20 lb. turkey in a pie
pan. It wouldn't fit. They just don't make pie pans the way they used to,
sigh.

Thank you, Cheryl.
As a matter of information tomorrow is just plain old Thursday for
me - Canada has Thanksgiving Day on the second Monday in October
(not so close to Christmas).
I believe the reason for that is - well initially it was an
old-world religious Holy Day giving thanks after the harvest for
the season's abundance. Most of Europe (and Canada) has only one
harvest per year, but the U.S. is blessed with a much longer
"growing season" and gets 2 harvests, so their Thanksgiving Day is
later (I hope I got that right - I read it somewhere years ago, but
can't recall the source).
I hope we all can find something to be thankful for during our
Thanksgiving holidays.
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Kate
I am glad that your grandaughter is better. I am really glad she is off the
ventilator That is great news. My thoughts and prayers for a speedy
recovery for here. My best to you and your family. Have a great
Thanksgiving.
Love,
Cheryl

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Hi and Welcome to
Rita ( rdmichna@... ) and psychosnot@...
- both receiving individual e-mails.
You have just joined a great group of Strokers and Caregivers and
their family members.
We help and support each other by sharing our experiences, asking
questions, exchanging information, telling stroke and other
stories, in fact, anything that we want to talk about or discuss.
Most members reside in the U.S., but we have a few in Canada,
Australia, Germany, New Zealand, the Netherlands and the U.K. One
e-mail to
strokesurvivors@egroups.com will go to everyone on the list. You
are also free to respond (or not) to any e-mail you receive, and
you may also directly e-mail any group member.
Although we have 81 members, many are "lurkers" - and that is okay
too. Some people get a lot of enjoyment and comfort reading the
various e-mails. Many of us don't have a lot of time to
participate too much online. If you have any questions, and/or
need advice, we try to find answers or at least give you
information. We seek to self-educate ourselves about stroke and
its effects, to take an active rather than passive role with our
medical professionals. We sometimes share humour, jokes, and
Internet links, joys and sorrows, and try to be truly supportive of
each other.
We are not doctors, and we do have differing opinions at times, but
that's okay too. We are not clones. We try to give/get as much
information as we can to help us make up our minds. Sharing ideas
and opinions is a great way to learn also. I sometimes see our
role
as interactive "group" computer therapy. I've seen some members in
the early stages of "poststroke" who could barely type a sentence
getting "better and better" (we don't care how you spell or what
the
grammar is like as long as we can figure out the message).
We hope you will visit the e-groups Community Page/s at
http://www.egroups.com/community/strokesurvivors
As a member, you can access all the groups messages in our file
archives. You can change your e-mail options at the Community Page
also, or e-mail me and I'll do it for you.
Please visit our very own Strokesurvivors International website at
http://www.strokesurvivors.homepage.com
There are links to some useful sites where you can learn all about
strokes, Our Health Pages include a searchable Drug Database. We
have a great bookstore containing a selection of discounted books
useful or of interest to Strokers Feel free to recommend a book to
add. Also there are links to a few websites of our members, some
with wonderful stories and gifts/goods to sell. We like to support
"our own". You will enjoy a fascinating and interesting Internet
journey if you spend time at our website and follow the links that
interest you.
Check out the Member's Page at the website and visit the Member's
Gallery to see pictures of some of us - some family members and
pets too! Sorry, the Gallery Pages are "under repair" at the
moment. I am still working with our website to try and speed up
loading time.
The list is quiet at times, and busy at other times. Feel free to
"jump in" at any time you feel ready to, and let us know a little
about yourself, or if you have any questions on your mind, we will
try to help.
In time, I would like to put your vital statistics on our website
Member's Page. It would only be your first name, and the Stroker's
name (if you are a caregiver, relative or friend). Also, where you
are from - the town, state, province or region, and country, as
well as the age when you (or your Stroker) had the stroke. Oh, yes
and your birthday/s. We like to remember those. (month and day
only).
We love reading other Stroker/Caregiver stories. We are all unique
and very special people. Attachments are quite welcome with your
e-mails to us.
We hope your association with our group, is a pleasant and
informative one.
Very Best Wishes, and we hope your experience with our group is a
positive one.
Whitegoose (Moderator)
Vancouver,
British Columbia,
Canada
Whitegoose8@...
Peter Allen (Co-Moderator)
Brighton,
England, U.K.
pallen@...
Kate Lautzenhiser (Co-Moderator)
U.S.A.
katelau@...
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Kate,
Thank you for this "better news" update. This little sweetheart is
definitely demonstrating she has her granma's "feistiness". That
is wonderful that you and your daughter will be with her. Hospitals
are terrifying places for babes. We'll be thinking of you. Happy
Thanksgiving!
Take care.
love,
Dorothy (whitegoose)

This was sent to me today. For Noddy and all you gourmet cooks who
yearn for things simple - I wanted to share it with you.
:)
whitegoose
No-Roll Pie Crust
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 teaspoons granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons cold milk
1/2 cup vegetable oil (I use canola)
Pre-heat oven. In pie plate, sift dry ingredients. In a measuring
cup, measure milk into oil and whip with a fork. Pour into flour
mixture and mix with fork; pat into place. Bake at 375 degrees for
8 minutes or until golden.
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Hi Zooky,
Your email was a timely reminder that I had a big bottle of 120
capsules of Co-enzyme Q10 (60 mg.)in my pharmacy chest. I stopped
taking them, but couldn't remember the reason why. Well, I
retrieved the bottle and the price tag on it said $58.99 (that was
no. 1 reason - I was pinching pennies at the time), and no. 2
reason - I can't swallow the darned things without half choking to
death.
My brand (Natural Factors) was *not* on Consumer Lab's list, but I
didn't really expect it to - it is a local Canadian company, and
was recommended to me by an ND.
But maybe you can advise me - These capsules "float" in my mouth,
and my swallowing capacity was diminished considerably since
stroke.
Would I get the same benefit by mixing the powder inside with a
little juice (in a large spoon) and swallowing it that way. Even
my Dr. recommended this to me, so I would like to start taking it
again. My doc recommended 2 capsules a day (one morning and
night).
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Connie - do you have Legal Aid in your state?
Our laws (in Canada) are vastly different, but often similar,
In some of our provinces (i.e. states)our bankruptcy laws allow
retention of the home and a vehicle. In my own province seniors
can defer payment of taxes on the land until "death" when taxes are
taken from the "estate", or if it is sold, when taxes must be paid
before sale is completed. Here we also have mechanisms like
reverse mortgages (lump sums of money) to be paid back at "death"
or sale of the house. If you don't have Legal Aid, many lawyers
allow free 1st-time consultation (usually in the hope that they can
persuade you they can help you, but sometimes they can).
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Connie wrote:
<<I can only take one day at a time, and that is it...
Hi Connie - that's all anyone is ever asked to do. You just handle
it the best you can. If you have a fairly decent computer, with a
few gigabytes of space, and speakers, go to http://www.napster.com
and download a few of your favourite songs. You just have to type
in the song title or the artist's name. Downloads are slow - but
the songs will download "in the background" as long as you are
online.
It was what you wrote that made me think of this one, which I
always find comforting: It's "One Day at a Time" and beautifully
sung by Shirley Caeser.
:)
whitegoose
=====
Visit http://strokesurvivors.homepage.com and check out the Bookstore!

Thanks Dorothy- this little girl has demonstrated she has a fighting spirit
of her own. After they restrained her arms to keep her from pulling out her
IV's and tubes, she resorted to using her toes to pull things out so they
now have her sedated with either mommy, daddy or staff at both sides of her
little crib at all times, they were able to take her off the ventilator and
onto a mask for oxygen. Kate I'l flying to Little Rock tonight to spend
Thanksgiving with her and my daughter will be back Monday or Tuesday. Have a
nice Thanksgiving. Kate

Dear Kate,
Best wishes, loving thoughts and prayers for the swift recovery of
your granddaughter Katelynn, and I hope she is back safe and well
with her parents soon. Please keep us posted.
love,
whitegoose
=====
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Dear Kate,

Our prayers are with you for your wee granddaughter for wisdom for the doctors and her quickly to get better. Blessings on you all , Barbara

Kate,

I will keep Katelynn in my prayers. I hope she improves soon & please do keep us posted.

Joyce

I can't use my right arm or hand. We have a split level home so there are too sets of steps to go up & down to get to the garage. We had a railing on one side & my husband put one on the other side right away. If we go somewhere that doesn't have a railing, my husband will walk a step in front of me & then I hold on to his shoulder. That